Name's William but I go by Joey. Anything else you need go ahead and ask.

 

Aragorn was the tallest of the company, but Boromir, little less in height, was hotter.

How I read Lord of the Rings. (via adanwen)

cumslayer:

cumslayer:

So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.

AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..

omnicat:

genalovestoons:

kungphooey:

my headcanon here is that legolas is just BARELY visibly holding it together

since canon tells us that mirkwood elves like to party and are fully capable of passing out from drunk

so legolas is using EVERYTHING HE HAS to fuck with gimli and pretend he hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be affected by alcohol

while inside he’s all ‘sdkla;hgsj you can do this leggles you can do this’

‘don’t think about that time you blacked out from dorwinion wine while naked in the middle of an impromptu archery contest’

‘and all your friends drew orc penises on your face’

‘and when you woke up you were halfway to dale without a clue as to how you got there’

‘And especially don’t think about that time you drank so much that the dwarves you were supposed to be watching escaped in the empty barrels of wine.’

‘Dad never let me hear the end of that one’

Leggles

(Source: thorinium)